Tiny spiders

Your hands have out grown mine

My hands were always smaller

But now, compared to yours, they look like cat’s paws

I never notice that their size

I guess I was dumb

I guess I was blind

I guess I just never paid attention

Now when your finger tips graze across mine

It feels like spiders are crawling up my hands

Like millions of tiny spiders

With long hairy legs

Are clinging on to my wrists

Like furry handcuffs that are whispering

For me not to go

Are yelling that I can’t go

They keep me there beside you

Your hands have become anchors

That hold me down when I have no plans of going anywhere

They are chained onto me by guilt for not loving enough

Like love could ever have a unit of measurement

But I guess for you it does

When you hold my hand it smothers mine

Binding my fingers

That once would be happy to

Play games with yours

Fingers that loved creating for you

Have now become prisoners in yours

But I smile and you smile

And we pretend that those spiders

Aren’t crawling in my skin

Aren’t all dying in my throat

Aren’t making it harder to breath

We just smile

And act like everything is okay

Your hands have gotten bigger

Now I can’t even find mine

Your hand will never stop growing

They grow from emptiness

From years of loneliness

They just want to fill a void

That just keeps getting larger

I once thought that I could fill your void

That our hands could change the world,

That our filangies were the key to both of our happinesses

that my hands fit perfectly in yours

But now your hands have eaten mine

And its too late because I can’t even feel my fingers anymore

I guess I’ve grown numb and

That this smile is just a nervous reaction to this coldness

And that I mistake that prickliness as love

Your hands have out grown mine

Those small freckles on your knuckles that looked so dainty

The freckles I used to count when you were asleep

The ones I wanted to kiss

now look like planets to me